بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيم

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

I don't know if I'm fully ready to face the upcoming challenges. It's already May and I'm about to further my study very soon. I have no idea yet where I'll be going since I'm still waiting for my UPU result that will come out soon but it's gonna be a long, tough journey and that frightens me.

Staying far from my family for several years for the first time is one. Besides, my previous memories suddenly distracted my thoughts and prevent me to go forward. I can't describe and express how I miss being in a middle school, when everything was so much easier to handle.

When my sister still didn't get married and we always went out to have fun like eating, going for cinema, got inside a few shop to watch their stuffs then exited without buying any. I miss all the silly jokes, making fun and embarrassed each other until we almost went too far.

I miss being surrounded by my schoolmates and had the opportunities to cause minor troubles but never get caught because people never know what's up.

I just miss being younger.

Sometimes thinking all of these things bring me to a different thought where I don't want to get married, I don't want to get into University, I don't want to stay away from my family, I don't want to confront all the hardships. Not because I'm weak or hopeless, but because I still can't move on from my past.

Growing up is never fun. I don't want to leave everything just yet. I don't want the time moves. I want to rewind to where I was the happiest and do the same thing again and again, and again, and again.

I don't want everyone aging. I want to stay close to people I love. I want to always be there and appreciate what they've done to me. I have no absolute clue how to cooperate with my own feelings.

Life gets harder. I just can't accept the fact that everyone's growing and leaving.

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