بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيم
Assalamualaikum w.b.t.
It's been quite awhile, isn't? Sometimes I visit my blogspot and read my own entries but unfortunately got no opportunity to post anything.
Eventhough I get busier with my current life, studying this and that. Yet I'm still trying my best finding time to actually write something on my blogspot and share it with whoever that read this entry.
SO,
there was this one fine day when I was in my matriculation after class, I happened to overhear someone else's conversation ( didn't mean to listen to them, but they were talking next to me I swear D: ). This one person asked her friend,
"Why do people blog?"
I wish I could've answered her right away since she was very close to me at that moment, but ofcourse I can't simply interrupt someone else's conversation.
I guess she isn't the only person who question that. Other people must have wondering as well.
So I think, why not I tell people here, regarding why people do blogging. Why I do blogging. Why bloggers write and share things in their blogspot.
There are so many reasons of why people do blogging. But I would like to tell the reason of why I do blogging.
This blog I've created isn't just some kind of another personal account I use to share about myself such as Instagram and stuff. It's completely different from any of them.
This blog matters to me. Because I have nobody to share my good news and feelings with. No one to express the misery I go through. No shoulder to lend on but there's a keyboard to pour out everything I hold deep inside by typing it down. Sometimes things can get a little too personal and emotional.
No, don't get me wrong. I tell Allah everything too.
He knows me better than anyone else. He knows me better than my family. He knows me better than I know myself.
Yet don't forget that I'm still a human-being, needing someone to know what runs inside my head. Informing people about feathers that tickling my heart which burst me to laughter and thorns I've been stepping on that causes my heart to bleed.
Whenever someone says, "poor Saidah, she's a total loner."
I'm not sure whether to listen to it as a humor or humiliation because I end up shedding tears at the end of the day back then when the words come back to me, echoing inside my empty mind. (But not anymore because I've reached the point where I don't give a damn about people. I am who I am and I don't care about anybody's perspective upon me).
I've learnt that, no matter how good or generous you act toward anyone, that doesn't mean people would get attracted to befriend you, get to know or get closer to you. No matter how you're willing to lend your hand or reduce the burden of everyone else. They may thank you, but they would never come across to actually consider you as close friend.
But... I came to realize.
Perhaps this is how The Lord tests me. By seeing either I will give up on being good to people eventhough people refuse to be next to me or I will keep my faith on spreading kindness.
The trick is simple.
Look at what you've received this whole time despite the hardship you've experienced.
I have my family, and I have The Almighty One. What else can I possibly ask for besides having graces rewarded by Him?
Therefore,
I choose to keep going.
Keep going what? Keep going on remain happy with what I already have and treat everybody good.
It's okay to be alone for now.
It's okay to not have someone to look for me.
It's okay to walk alone with nobody following me.
The Almighty isn't cruel. I'm very sure He wants me to love Him more than I love everybody else. I don't want my emotions to take over myself and turns me depressed.
I'm in control of my own happiness.
So to sum up everything, I do blog obviously just for fun. I pour my heart through my writing in informal way. I take this opportunity and platform to share something I reckon I should let others know as well. To advise myself, to advise everyone else. To give good reminder to each other whereas we always forget when we're too into dunya. I do believe this small action will give benefit to me and to everyone as well.
A/N: I wrote this entry when I was still in matriculation and I just finished and posted it now due to my heavy daily schedule.
Thank you for reading and wassalam. :)
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