Yours Faithfully, My Heart.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيم

Assalamualaikum w.b.t and hello to people who are reading this.

It's August. It's already passed half of the year. I thought this year , 2014 was about to get started but it is almost to reach the end and I am honestly not feeling so good about it.
I don't know.
Obviously I did nothing productive in this year yet. My form 4 life is going to end later. I don't want to be a senior. I hate being the last year student. I don't understand if you like to be a senior in your school especially because i don't. (I'm talking about school life, not college. Spot the difference.) Sitting for SPM is one of the main reason of why i'm disliking to become a senior. Secondly, I don't really look up for future. It frightens me when I think about it over and over. Growing up is not fun to me. Your responsibility will get increased, your life will get busier and you will get more stress thinking about your job, having your own family, take care of your children and else. 

But the most important thing, growing older makes someone really close to death. No, i'm not trying to scare you. I'm stating the fact and no one can deny it. And now, I'm afraid of how would it be and what would happen to me in Akhirah.

 I wanted to change so bad. Treat my parent nicely like a good daughter should be, do a lot of deeds and avoid all the bad habits. How embarrassing, I didn't show any improvement like what i wished. Have you ever think about giving up in life and hate everything around you because things didn't turn the way you want it be ?

Well... I don't haha. I'm not sure about my past but seriously, I might go through with so many obstacles and challenges but I don't want to give up just because I failed to find solution. If I define myself as weak, I am actually strong. And if someone sees me as a strong person, I am actually stronger. How did I know that ? Allah told me so. If Allah gave me a test that seems difficult to everybody else, that means I am strong enough to face it. Allah knows me better than I know myself and He knows that I will somehow get pass through the test given.

I do believe in Allah. He is the Most Merciful. It's too impossible to not believe and have faith in Allah. If Satans can obey and bow down to Allah, showing how they give their respect to the One who created them, why don't we, humans do it better than Satans? Sounds legit, isn't ?

I cried more often since I'm going through my jihad. But that won't bother me. Tears may have fall down rolling on my cheeks, but I got no fear to keep on living with my new lifestyle. Do you think crying make somebody turns weak ? Pffft silly.  You can't bear with all the difficulties by yourself on your shoulder without crying.

One said, "A real muslim won't hold their cries to look strong and calm, but will shed away their tears thinking about the sins and the Creator."

So if you're using the phrase 'real men don't cry', it is now irrelevant and can't be used in any such things. Thank you so much.

Life is tough. But Akhirah is tougher. Always remember that. Whatever comes in the future, I'm not gonna give up in my life. Giving up is stupid. No, seriously. You know you can do better. Trust me, you're doing great in your life. So do i. All the hardships are just nothing and incomparable with all the happiness and grants that you received in your whole life.

My advice of the day is, do not give up and always smile, you little beautiful creature :D

Oh geez i can't even look at you, your smile is too beautiful urghh stahp it ! Lol just kidding. Keep smiling, you look beautiful and great ^^ 
Wassalam and byes!

Allah always love you.

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